Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Since you’ve gone.....



Since you’ve gone
a lot has changed
about me and around me

Smile refuses to
curve up my lips
The twinkle in the eye
soon dissipates into tears
that roll down my face

Now that you’re not there
I’ll never get back to
what I was
having lost myself
in the debris
of sorrow and solitude

That place in the heart
where you resided
aches yearningly
craving your presence
in its warm embrace

The mass in my mind
that you occupied
has gone derelict
wandering from
moments steeped in bleakness
to days soaked
in bewildered banefulness

The corner of the bed
That favourite spot
on the rug
The slight indentation
on the sofa
that was yours
lie vacant

Since you’ve gone
Time comes with the day
and leaves to take
another form
after each night

Yet I stay there
still and stunned
redundant as a rock
unmoved by what goes around
Lifeless to all the living
that happens around me

Since you’ve gone
the state of being happy
seems to be a far-flung world
Detached from my grip
distanced from my mind

Since you’ve gone
The cycle of
wake and unawake
go through their
necessary motions
But life has come to a point
Where it has ceased to live!


 *******


Wednesday, December 09, 2015

IF YOU EVER CAME BACK TO ME.......


If you ever came back to me
I will love you so much, so much more,
But I did love you with all my heart
And you still walked out of it
Calmly, quietly, indefinitely!

If you ever came back to me
I will not let pain touch you,
God knows when you were here
I tried, tried hard to keep pain at bay
Yet, the cruel devil crept in
Sometimes with force,
Other times with stealth!

If you ever came back to me
I would make our days more fun
With you there
Even little struggles were a plaything
And big challenges
Brought in a rush of excitement!

If you ever came back to me
You’ll find that your home
Is now an empty nest
Its’ vacuousness hits
Against the walls of my mind!

When you were there
You filled my time
With love and luck
Now the clock
Stares into the vast unknown
With no peace or passion or promise!

If you ever came back to me
You’ll notice the small and big things
That went away too
Joy walked out with you
Faith has fallen into
A deep abyss of doubt
Beliefs have taken a battering
Contentment fails to climb out
Of the cavity of miserable chaos!

If you ever came back to me
You’ll see that
Living itself has become so hard
The mundane seems monumental
Even the tiniest seem impossible!

If you ever came back to me
I would relive all the happy things
We did together,
With you gone
Hope lurks behind
Dark clouds of despair
And happiness plays truant!

If you ever came back to me
I will keep you by my side
Night and day, and months and years,
But I did live my moments and minutes
And hours and all my days with you

Still when the time came
I stood there helpless, handicapped
Wishing for you to stay
Yet watching you slip away!




**********


BUT SHE WAS JUST A DOG!




She entered my life
like a beacon of light,
Brightening up my dour days
and shining over
the starkness of night
But she was just a dog!

She became a part of me
feeling my angst and my pain,
She fell on the parched
portions of my heart
like the relief of the summer rain
But she was just a dog!

She hurt with me
twitching at my slightest grimace,
Laughing with me
on the silliest of things
she was the pleasure on my face
But she was just a dog!

She stood by my side
when the mighty earth quaked,
She read me like a book
despite all the roles I faked
But she was just a dog!

When the floodgates
of my emotions
broke away,
With her gentleness
she held me in her sway
But she was just a dog!

When my mind numbed out
and the body
surrendered to stress,
She put her wet nose
against my cheek
and gave me her
refreshing caress
But she was just a dog!


Every time the clouds
overhead burst
or the skies raged,
In ways most selfless
she freed up my spirit
when all else attempted to
keep it caged
But she was just a Dog!

She filled up the void
I may have felt for a child,
She became the daughter
I could ever hope to find
But she was just a dog!

Now she’s gone
to another land
of all things happy and great,
I muster courage
to amble along my life
and face all there is in my fate;

I will miss her
till my end of time,
In my heart
her spirit
will forever shine
But she was just a dog!

She was my child, my friend,
my companion,
There couldn’t have been
a more divine union
But she was just a dog!

She will continue
to live in my heart,
Of my life she will always
be an exceptional part
But she was just a dog!

She held a special
meaning for me,
She was my whole world
as far as I could see
Even if she was just a Dog!



**********

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

PAIN (II)




Pain
brash and brazen
rough-footed into my life
stealing away happiness from my heart
glint and twinkle of hope from my eye
assurance of a smile from my lips;

Pain
cruel and callous
tore me up into fragments
scattering pieces in the depths
of grief and solitude
of hopelessness and despair;

Pain
crafty and selfish
avariciously took over a large part of my mind
and a larger part of my heart
sending everything sane and sensible
to a place beyond reach and reason;

Pain
violent and vicious
crushed my spirit
trounced upon the feelings
destroyed the will and its wants,
killing the dreams and desires;

Pain
hateful and heinous
kidnapped what I was
and returned me to my base
a changed person
without a mission or a meaning
left floating purposeless;

Pain
omnipotent and omnipresent
sat on the horizon
of my consciousness
and the sub-conscious
plotting to take over my thoughts
and my emotions
rendering me lifeless,
deprived of the awareness of my soul!




**********