My most precious Son, Pasha Baba, died in my arms in the wee hours this morning.
And this is the way he passed on from this life to next - cradled in my arms, his tired head resting on my bosom, my one hand patting him and giving him a light massage. Pasha Baba went away with a strong reassurance of the profound love that existed between him and me as I showered innumerable kisses on him through the night, sang his favourite lullaby with a choked throat and stayed up and alert along with him to note every little change in his breathing, each shiver, every twitch and strain and each rattle of frayed nerves.
But eventually, he went away peacefully, with hardly any pain or discomfort and no vestige of all that he went through in the past two years.
And here is the sense of dichotomy I am grappling with - My heart is devastated as a big part in me has died, yet again. But the mind feels a huge sense of relief for there is no pain now, no heart condition or bladder condition to battle, no immobility issues to contend with, no slowing down of the system at large. Now onwards it is onto new promise of another journey and bounding around in God's own garden, perhaps also a chance meeting with his sister, Princess Cinderella.
Yet, I feel somehow reassured that such deep bonds are not meant for one life. Our souls, so strongly intertwined, keep meeting again and again in different forms and time zones.
Pasha Baba has been one of the most loving, adorable and exemplary babies in all respects. May every Mother be blessed with a child like Him.
Rest in peace Pasha Baba and add your special magic wherever you go.
11th July 2001 to 8th April 2017