This Man! My Man!
17 years, 204 months, 6210 days, 149040 Hours, 8942400 minutes, 536544000 seconds today!
They say you should marry someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. You should marry that one person you wish to grow old with.
And if you find that person, hold him close and never let him go, because it is such a blessing. I know because I did. And I am keeping him close to my heart, well at least until the end of my time.
They also say that you should marry a friend. I was lucky enough to first call Sulabh a friend, then a best friend, later a BFF if you please and as destiny would have it, we chose each other as life partners.
With life’s incessant ups and downs, and trials and tribulations, it helps to have a genuine friend at hand, and it is divine if that friend lives under the same roof as you, and spends a substantial number of waking hours with you. It helps because there is a natural understanding and bond that you have built as friends. As genuine friends, you will be less swayed by society’s abominable pressures and will not bend down to the familial idiosyncrasies.
Marriage, with so much proximity to another human being at so many levels – mental, physical, carnal, social, emotional, financial, is bound to be wrought with conflicts. And conflicts are good. They help put the focus back into equations. They help let off steam and clear the air. But what is needed is not to let the conflicts get the better of you and put any amount of negativity in your relationship. I am lucky that Sulabh remains the peacemaker and with him – like I saw in my parents’ case – no conflict or conjugal fight is good enough to nurse for more than a day. Many times, it is much less and does not last even a few hours.
It is such a relief and divine reward when your spouse does not see you at the surface level alone. Neither of you will remain young, and as handsome or beautiful as you once were. Neither of you will continue to look like a Mr. World or Miss Universe as age begins to leave its indelible imprint on your face and body. Hell, even a Mr. World or a Miss Universe does not.
So, it helps to have someone who loves you for your heart and soul much more than how you look with or without the greasepaint, especially without. It is one of the blessings that I will always count, to be loved by the spouse in spite of having piled on pounds and losing some of the sheen from one’s looks.
I must have indeed accumulated good Karma – and a sizeable amount of it – to have a husband to whom I still am pretty, sexy, intelligent, smart and bright. I am fortunate that Sulabh lauds me for most of my qualities, even the quaint peculiarities, be it my extreme sense of orderliness, control, cleanliness, righteousness; heck even stubbornness, strong leanings and anal-retentiveness.
And it is much more than good Karma when he gives a positive spin and reasons out favourably even the times when I lose my infamous temper, when I scream and curse, when I am not as productive and gainfully occupied as I or he would like it to be, when I am not the very role model of attributes that I would so love to see in others.
I am so blessed to have Sulabh be the perfect counterfoil to my aggression with his natural calm, to my acute critiquing with his inherent compassion, to my skewed worldview with his exceptional nature of being extremely understanding, to my sharp judgemental bent with his pronounced balance.
It is indeed a blessing that we go through the struggles and stabilities of life with love in our heart and trust and respect in our minds. The vacillations we face on our steady feet and keep our ship afloat and rock steady with hands held and shoulders eager to have the other lean on when so needed.
It is such a relief that we enjoy each other’s company and joke and laugh together making life just that bit more bearable when it wants to be hard and trying. I guess even as we have the greys grow in number, I’ll continue to be the loud-mouthed, ill-tempered, order-seeking, cussing banshee and he will remain the chaotic, calm, messy, intentionally forgetful, absolutely annoying Buddha.
So Sulabh here’s wishing that we continue to write our unique story, that we wake up to sunrise and dream with the stars with each other for company.
Here’s wishing that we kick the bucket together. But life is seldom fair. And if one of us has to go before, I ask God to let me be selfish and make me the one who departs first.
I don’t know if you and I will get to celebrate a 50th together, given that we did not really have an early marriage. But what the hell! there is also the next “janam” to aspire to, once we have made a wonderfully exhilarating life out of this one!!!
Happy Anniversary to us, then!
17 years, 204 months, 6210 days, 149040 Hours, 8942400 minutes, 536544000 seconds today!
They say you should marry someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. You should marry that one person you wish to grow old with.
And if you find that person, hold him close and never let him go, because it is such a blessing. I know because I did. And I am keeping him close to my heart, well at least until the end of my time.
They also say that you should marry a friend. I was lucky enough to first call Sulabh a friend, then a best friend, later a BFF if you please and as destiny would have it, we chose each other as life partners.
With life’s incessant ups and downs, and trials and tribulations, it helps to have a genuine friend at hand, and it is divine if that friend lives under the same roof as you, and spends a substantial number of waking hours with you. It helps because there is a natural understanding and bond that you have built as friends. As genuine friends, you will be less swayed by society’s abominable pressures and will not bend down to the familial idiosyncrasies.
Marriage, with so much proximity to another human being at so many levels – mental, physical, carnal, social, emotional, financial, is bound to be wrought with conflicts. And conflicts are good. They help put the focus back into equations. They help let off steam and clear the air. But what is needed is not to let the conflicts get the better of you and put any amount of negativity in your relationship. I am lucky that Sulabh remains the peacemaker and with him – like I saw in my parents’ case – no conflict or conjugal fight is good enough to nurse for more than a day. Many times, it is much less and does not last even a few hours.
It is such a relief and divine reward when your spouse does not see you at the surface level alone. Neither of you will remain young, and as handsome or beautiful as you once were. Neither of you will continue to look like a Mr. World or Miss Universe as age begins to leave its indelible imprint on your face and body. Hell, even a Mr. World or a Miss Universe does not.
So, it helps to have someone who loves you for your heart and soul much more than how you look with or without the greasepaint, especially without. It is one of the blessings that I will always count, to be loved by the spouse in spite of having piled on pounds and losing some of the sheen from one’s looks.
I must have indeed accumulated good Karma – and a sizeable amount of it – to have a husband to whom I still am pretty, sexy, intelligent, smart and bright. I am fortunate that Sulabh lauds me for most of my qualities, even the quaint peculiarities, be it my extreme sense of orderliness, control, cleanliness, righteousness; heck even stubbornness, strong leanings and anal-retentiveness.
And it is much more than good Karma when he gives a positive spin and reasons out favourably even the times when I lose my infamous temper, when I scream and curse, when I am not as productive and gainfully occupied as I or he would like it to be, when I am not the very role model of attributes that I would so love to see in others.
I am so blessed to have Sulabh be the perfect counterfoil to my aggression with his natural calm, to my acute critiquing with his inherent compassion, to my skewed worldview with his exceptional nature of being extremely understanding, to my sharp judgemental bent with his pronounced balance.
It is indeed a blessing that we go through the struggles and stabilities of life with love in our heart and trust and respect in our minds. The vacillations we face on our steady feet and keep our ship afloat and rock steady with hands held and shoulders eager to have the other lean on when so needed.
It is such a relief that we enjoy each other’s company and joke and laugh together making life just that bit more bearable when it wants to be hard and trying. I guess even as we have the greys grow in number, I’ll continue to be the loud-mouthed, ill-tempered, order-seeking, cussing banshee and he will remain the chaotic, calm, messy, intentionally forgetful, absolutely annoying Buddha.
So Sulabh here’s wishing that we continue to write our unique story, that we wake up to sunrise and dream with the stars with each other for company.
Here’s wishing that we kick the bucket together. But life is seldom fair. And if one of us has to go before, I ask God to let me be selfish and make me the one who departs first.
I don’t know if you and I will get to celebrate a 50th together, given that we did not really have an early marriage. But what the hell! there is also the next “janam” to aspire to, once we have made a wonderfully exhilarating life out of this one!!!
Happy Anniversary to us, then!
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